The One and Only

So, Mixu’s been busy again. The signing of Armand One from Raith Rovers has caused a bit of a stir here, as he is a little bit large, lengthways and widthways. While they weren’t exactly dancing in the streets of Raith at his departure, there were mixed feelings that he left.

I had a bit of a root round the Raith forums, and they seem to regard him with some affection. ‘Ta ta One, I enjoyed your efforts’, and ‘good luck to armand wish mcglynn gave him more of a chance’ were two of the well-wishers comments.

The well-wishers were not the only people on the forum though. Another poster said ‘maybe he’ll find a pair of shorts to fit him in Finland, do they have bigger bottoms?’. Another Raith fan had an explanation for the premature end to One’s Raith career:

‘During the pre match warm-up against Stranraer, Armand turned to John McGlynn and asked “Does my arse look big in this?”

John unfortunatley answered honestly and said “Yes”

As we all know this is the reponse to end most relationships!’

There was fortunately someone on hand to scotch that scurrilous rumour, and give the real reason for Armand’s flight to Turku. ‘Apparently Armand was going to jump ship during the transfer window. Unfortunately, as he can’t actually jump, this was not an option.’

Now, when you’re in the land of the deep fried mars bar and people start mocking your weight, it’s probably time to stop dodging the salad. Or to go to Finland, who knows? Ville Lehtinen wasn’t the most mobile of players, but he still scored a fair few goals last season.

With the signing of Mikko P and now Armand One, it looks like Mixu is trying to build a no-nonsense team, a club in his own image. I seriously doubt this particular manager will allow a lardarse striker to stagnate, and from what I can gather from Armand One’s previous clubs the lad has the raw talent. Good luck to him.


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