The Luiz Antonio show

If you see a white person with dreadlocks in the UK, it’s a fair bet that they have been influenced to some degree by one of two types of ‘traveller’ culture. The first stems from the hippy/crusty/new age/battle of the beanfield movement that has waned somewhat as a distinct, caravan dwelling sub culture, but still informs lots of interesting environmentalist and civil liberties related action. The other originates from the Australian/gap year/ ‘doing europe’ movement that serves a valuable purpose by encouraging young people from the southern hemisphere to live 3 people to a room in London and pull pints for 6 pounds an hour. Of course some people just like to have dreadlocks, but they have to work hard to avoid being pigeon holed like that.

In Finland no such stigma exists. Lots of people have dreadlocks, very few of them are black, and you cannot assume they are hippies or antipodean bar workers. So it was great to see Erkka Heinä back between the posts for TPV today, proving that white people with dreadlocks really can do anything. Here’s a picture of him, unfortunately taken before he grew the dreads.

TP-47 look like a useful side who can pass the ball well. They have a contender for shortest player in the league in Jouni Talvensaari, one for tallest defender in Brazilian centre back Ozeias Graciano, and a sure fire winner for craziest coach in Luiz Antonio, the former FC Jazz player who now models merchandise for his Tornio club.

He began the game by haranguing his left back, Olli-Pekka Höynälä. I can guess what he was saying – Koroma is quick, he’ll skin you, you have to stay close to him or he’ll tear us apart. Now, I’m sure Höynälä already knew all this, as Mohammed Koroma has been playing in Ykkönen for a while. More productive would have been instructions to the left midfielder and left sided centre back to help out at every opportunity. Unfortunately the midfielder was Luiz Vanderlei, a Brazilian not given to ‘putting in reducers early doors’, as Big Racist Ron would say. The centre back did his best, but most times he got skinned as well. So what did Luiz do, right after his team had got an equaliser? He dragged Höynälä over again, and screamed how shit he was playing while yanking his arm, hard. The poor bugger’s head dropped, Koroma owned him for the rest of the half, and he was subbed at half time.

The TPV goal is worth mentioning. It was a free kick from the right, floated gently in, nodded down and passed into the net by Viitanen. No Tornio player was in the 6 yard box, and I initially assumed it was a foul, but nobody appealed and the goal stood. Maybe someone should look at betfair’s odds on more than 2.5 goals in the game?

After the break Luiz Antonio took micro managing to new levels. TP 47 kept up their slick passing game, and Koroma had tired badly, so Tornio were well on top. When Vanderlei scored a beauty of a goal on 68 minutes, the gaffer began warming up enthusiastically behind the goal his team were defending. He seemed to be giving quite detailed instructions to his defenders and keeper on how exactly they should waste time and kill the game, at one point telling the keeper to come over to his corner of the penalty area and have a chat while waiting for a TPV striker to come and close him down.

It looked like a ruse to get around the marked coaching areas by the dugouts, with Luiz’s yellow bib being a dastardly disguise. He seemed content to use his presence behind the goal to deter the TPV strikers, and it was working pretty well. He’s a big man and I wouldn’t want to piss him off.

But then he went and brought himself on for the Cameroonian midfielder Marc Ndikumade on 85 minutes. This was a bit of a shock, pushing as it did a striker back into midfield and leaving a 37 year old with dodgy knees to chase down the lost causes and try to waste time. He was blowing out of his arse within a minute, but he kept the ball well and played a crucial role in winning the freekick from which Vanderlei got the clincher in injury time. Whether his clever pass of his bellowing at the linesman was more important, I have no idea. I would have sent the defender off if he yelled like that at me, anything to ensure Luiz didn’t attack me.

JJK slipped up again, RoPs could only draw and kuPs got the win, so Ykkönen now looks like this:

KuPS 15 9 5 1 31 – 12 32
RoPS 15 9 4 2 27 – 17 31
JJK 15 8 4 3 30 – 14 28
PK-35 15 7 4 4 25 – 17 25
TPV 14 6 5 3 19 – 18 23
TP-47 14 6 4 4 19 – 14 22
KPV 15 4 6 5 12 – 23 18
GBK 15 5 2 8 20 – 26 17
VIFK 15 4 5 6 12 – 22 17
FC Hämeenlinna 15 4 4 7 19 – 19 16
Atlantis 15 4 4 7 16 – 21 16
PP-70 15 4 4 7 18 – 25 16
JIPPO 15 3 5 7 16 – 24 14
Klubi-04 15 1 4 10 13 – 25 7

In Veikkausliiga Oulu now look doomed. They lost 3-1 to Viikingit who now move out of the relegation places. lahti and Inter played a midtable game which was surely very entertaining, but I’m waiting for the highlights to be uploaded. In the meantime, you can view a report on Tampere United’s training session today. Yes, really. Click on the link and see. Results and table:

VPS IFK Mariehamn 1 – 3
FC Lahti FC Inter 2 – 2
FC Viikingit AC Oulu 3 – 1

FC Haka 15 30
TamU 14 30
TPS 15 26
HJK 16 22
FC Lahti 16 22
FC Honka 15 22
MyPa 16 22
FC Inter 17 20
FC KooTeePee 16 20
FF Jaro 16 19
VPS 17 19
FC Viikingit 16 17
IFK Mariehamn 16 16
AC Oulu 15 11

One Response

  1. White people with dreadlocks.. Call me overtly conservative but I have a problem with that.

    It just looks about as natural as a cow wearing a saddle.

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